Longtime drinker Jake Turner has swapped his usual round of cocktails for cannabis, only to stumble into a jarring realization: he’s waking up with no hangover at all.

Gone are the days of trudging through pub crawls, dozing off in questionable places, or waking up with raccoons scavenging the half-eaten burrito from his late-night delivery. In 2024, people like Jake are embracing a night of indulgence that doesn’t come with the usual morning-after wreckage.

Jake, who once proudly called himself a “pro-level drinker,” recently made waves when he announced his break from booze. “I just got tired of feeling wrecked every morning,” he said, sitting on the couch with an industrial-sized bag of snacks. “Figured I’d give cannabis a shot—it’s natural, it’s relaxing, and well, it’s legal now.”

What Jake didn’t expect, though, was the complete absence of a hangover. “I woke up, and I felt… fine?” he said, still processing his shock. “No pounding headache, no queasy regret, just… clarity. It’s like some kind of twisted joke.”

Friends who’ve known Jake for years are just as surprised. “Jake without a drink in hand? That’s practically a personality overhaul,” said his buddy Mike, who’s used to their post-bar recovery routine. “Now he’s all about that chill vibe. It’s… different.”

Local health experts see Jake’s story as a telling example of society’s mixed messages on substance use. “We’re quick to celebrate alcohol in social settings despite its known risks, while cannabis is still often treated with suspicion,” explained Dr. Sarah Rivera, a specialist in substance studies. “Cannabis, which has a promising track record for therapeutic use, still gets unfairly stigmatized in many places.”

Jake’s story highlights the odd contrast in how we view different substances. While alcohol contributes to countless health issues and accidents each year, cannabis remains on the fringes, despite its potential for wellness.

As for Jake, he’s coming to terms with his surprising new lifestyle. “I guess I’ll just have to live with the side effect of feeling good,” he said, shaking his head with a laugh before lighting up. “It’s a tough adjustment, but hey, someone’s got to make it.”