With the barrage of political texts hitting phones across the nation, people are finding a new way to cope: cannabis. Exhausted by relentless messages like “HEY, IT’S ME, KAMALA!” and “YO, IT’S TRUMP!” Americans are lighting up just to survive the seemingly endless notifications.

The uptick in political messaging has reached unprecedented levels this election season. Phones buzz from morning until night with “urgent” pleas from every campaign imaginable, each one louder and more insistent than the last. Messages like “WE HAVE 2 MORE DAYS TO SAVE DEMOCRACY!” and “THIS IS YOUR LAST CHANCE, SERIOUSLY” have left many Americans feeling more anxious than engaged.

“At this point, I can’t even check my texts without bracing for ‘IT’S JOE, AGAIN!’” said Carlos Jimenez, a 32-year-old from Texas. “I just wanted to see if my friends were free for dinner, but now it’s like I need a joint just to open my messages.”

According to recent data from dispensaries across the country, cannabis sales have spiked over the last month, with consumers specifically citing election anxiety and political fatigue as their reason for lighting up. Dispensary owner Beth Sanders from California said, “We’ve had people come in saying, ‘I can’t take another message from Kamala or DeSantis. I need to relax.’ It’s honestly been our busiest season.”

Political strategist Martin Roe admits this approach might be backfiring. “We were aiming for voter engagement, but it seems we’ve just driven people to cannabis dispensaries instead.”

The texts, which often appear with the casual tone of a friend reaching out, have become notorious for their familiar yet disorienting greetings. “I’ll get a text that says ‘YO, WE GOT THIS!’ and for a second, I think it’s my cousin, but nope—it’s another campaign,” said Jessica Holt, a 27-year-old in Ohio. “It’s like they want us to feel like we’re best friends, but really, it’s just exhausting. I’ve taken up microdosing edibles just to keep myself from throwing my phone out.”

Even brands are jumping on the trend, with some cannabis companies releasing “Election Chill” kits featuring mellow strains specifically marketed as antidotes to political overwhelm. “Our new ‘Unsubscribe’ strain is flying off the shelves,” said Jake Levy, CEO of a cannabis brand in Colorado. “It’s designed for those moments when you get a text saying, ‘THE FATE OF THE COUNTRY RESTS ON YOU’ and just need to turn off the world.”

Political organizers, meanwhile, are scratching their heads. “We’re just trying to increase turnout,” explained a campaign volunteer. “We had no idea we’d end up boosting the cannabis industry in the process.”

For now, it seems that voters are choosing to tune out by lighting up. And as Election Day nears, cannabis dispensaries are preparing for one last wave of stressed-out Americans looking for relief from the endless texts promising that “JUST ONE MORE DOLLAR COULD CHANGE EVERYTHING.”