VENTURA, CA– Residents in a Ventura neighborhood are in disbelief, as local woman Karen Smith has dared to defy social norms by forgoing trendy melatonin gummies in favor of a cannabis-infused substitute. 

Resulting in an unprecedented eight hours of blissful sleep without the slightest hint of grogginess in the morning. The audacity!

Smith, a self-proclaimed sleep connoisseur and frequent victim of restless nights, sent shockwaves through her neighborhood when she announced her decision to trade in her melatonin gummies for their more controversial cousin, the cannabis gummy. “I was tired of tossing and turning all night, only to wake up feeling like a zombie the next morning,” she confessed, while gleefully unwrapping a package of cannabis-infused sweets. “So, I thought, why not give weed a whirl? It’s natural, it’s relaxing, and hey, it’s gotta be better than counting sheep, right?”

Little did Karen realize the seismic impact her decision would have on the delicate fabric of society, which, as everyone knows, is built on the time-honored tradition of sleep deprivation and caffeine-induced delirium.

Friends and neighbors of Smith were quick to express their shock and disbelief at her daring choice. “Karen was always the first one to jump on the latest sleep trend, whether it was lavender-scented pillows or white noise machines,” remarked longtime friend and fellow insomniac, Betty Rogers. “But this? This is next-level rebellion. I mean, eight hours of uninterrupted sleep? It’s practically sacrilege!”

Indeed, Karen’s newfound ability to slumber soundly through the night without the aid of pharmaceutical sleep aids or caffeine-laden beverages has sparked a heated debate within the community, with some applauding her boldness and others condemning her reckless disregard for tradition.

“It’s just not natural,” declared local busybody and self-appointed sleep expert, Debbie Downs. “I mean, what kind of person willingly chooses to get a full night’s sleep without feeling like they’ve been hit by a truck the next morning? It’s madness, I tell you, madness!”

But while Karen’s decision may have raised eyebrows and ruffled feathers, there’s no denying the undeniable benefits of her newfound sleep regimen. “I wake up feeling refreshed, rejuvenated, and ready to tackle the day,” she declared, a mischievous twinkle in her well-rested eyes. “It’s like I’m a whole new person!”

As for the “celebrity” whose melatonin gummies were unceremoniously ousted from Karen’s nightly routine, they were surprisingly magnanimous in their response. “Hey, if cannabis gummies are what it takes to get a good night’s sleep, who am I to judge?” remarked the celebrity, whose Momager asked to remain anonymous for legal reasons. 

“Besides, I’ve got plenty of other products to peddle. Beauty sleep is just one of many lucrative ventures.”

And so, as Karen drifts off into dreamland each night, her mind free from the burdens of insomnia and her body relaxed by the soothing embrace of cannabis-infused goodness, she serves as a beacon of hope for sleep-deprived souls everywhere. 

For if Karen can defy convention and sleep soundly through the night, then perhaps there’s hope for the rest of us insomniacs yet.