HOLLYWOOD—In a revelation that may forever change how parents view children’s programming, entertainment insiders are convinced that nearly every iconic kids’ show was likely created by people who were, as one source put it, “high out of their minds.” From Teletubbies to Yo Gabba Gabba! to Blue’s Clues, experts say the surreal worlds, bizarre characters, and nonsensical storylines all point to a “creatively enhanced” state of mind.

“Let’s be real—no one invents four colorful blobs obsessed with tubby custard and windmills without some inspiration,” said Dr. Larry Winton, a media analyst. “And Yo Gabba Gabba!? Dancing vegetables and guest performances from random indie musicians? Someone was having a great time in that writing room.”

Even beloved classics like Sesame Street haven’t escaped scrutiny. “The entire premise of a trash-can-dwelling grouch and a giant yellow bird raises some questions,” added Winton. “It’s as if they thought, ‘Let’s make it colorful, weird, and hope kids go with it.’”

Parents are now rewatching these shows with new eyes. “Honestly, it all makes sense now,” admitted one dad. “And I have to say, Teletubbies is a lot easier to understand after a little relaxation of my own.”

At press time, networks declined to comment on the allegations, though rumors swirl about a new series involving a talking pineapple and dancing clouds.